It is understood by all that man is a social animal - that he needs to live in society and contribute in a manner worthy of his bearings to the common good of all he lives among, without burdening society in any way and actually making life worthwhile for himself and others around him. Not simply identifying his self as a key element of society but one of the important elements that can help bring about change and development in the growing competitiveness in society today.
This is what an individual's in today's changing society needs to do: be able to clearly see his identity as a reformer, worthy contributor and responsible citizen in society so he emerges as an instrument of social development and positive change. This is because man needs to understand, analyze, rationalize and accept for himself that he is a tool for the welfare of society as well as himself.
To be able to see the identity of the self in relation to the society one lives in, it is important to react in a desirable and good way as inspired by those emotions that society has researched and found to be good, in the general interest of everybody, which in turn also benefits the individual - not the other way round as most people hope to do i.e. work for self-gain and by the way, also help society.
Even with taking all these good steps and thinking well of others and for others, it is possible to experience pain, depression, distrust of our motives by others with suspicious minds or less than honest character themselves or those having suffered a loss that has stayed to remind them such a negative thing can happen again; therefore, we need to control our reactions since controlling people and their thoughts are beyond our powers. Also, it is of no use trying to let people and their viewpoints govern our thinking and working towards their good or that of society as good intentions can many a time get misinterpreted by lesser thinking individuals, so instead of letting others in society pull us down, we need to learn how to make good choices to avoid having to deal frequently with disruptive situations.
This means to sift through our various associations and learn which ones cause us stress, which will turn out to be bad choices, which can be hard decisions to abide by and cost us much in terms of emotional challenges but ultimately help us develop a higher understanding of our true selves and build a healthy self-identity and so should be selected; these kinds of decisions are the character building kinds and man needs to hone on his talent to separate these from the bad associations, in order to succeed.
It humanizes our spirit, helps teach us right moral behavior, sensitizes us to feeling for society and others as well as re-establishes our self-identity through the act of de-cluttering the mind, picking right associations and working towards a better future - the real purpose of identifying self in society.
Building Self Confidence That Endures
What would you do if you knew you could do anything?
Imagine turning your dreams into reality. If you have a dream and you want to see it come to pass, then its time to starting developing your confidence. Where do you start? How about with knowing what confidence is in the first place.
Take a look at its definition and see if this describes you: belief in oneself and one's powers and abilities; assurance. If that doesn't sound like you, then let's start right where you are right now. There are certain things you do every day that you know that you know you can do. Right? You believe in yourself in that area of your life.
Since you do have a success track record in a certain part of your life, then you have what it takes to build on it. Success breeds success. You are going to discover what works best for you and take your revelation and apply to making your dreams come true.
You must have 3 things you use on a daily basis that must agree with one another in order for you to build confidence that will sustain you through the trials.
1. Your words - When you listen to successful, confident people you can tell they are determined and optimistic they are going to accomplish their goals. Take a quick word inventory right now. Are you saying what you want? Are your words taking you in the direction of your dream? If not, start today to line your words up with your dream.
2. Your beliefs - Your confidence will grow when you have beliefs that align with the direction you want to go in life. How are your beliefs formed? What you see, hear, read and do all play a significant factor in developing your belief system. What you allow in your heart will determine what comes out of it. This week pay special attention to what you seeing and hearing.
3. Your actions - What you do is a reflection of what you are saying and what you believe you can and cannot do. If you do not see yourself do want you've always wanted to do, then you are not going to take the necessary actions. This one step here is going to require you to take a step of faith. Every time you take a faith step it builds your confidence. Are you playing it safe or are you living on the edge and living by faith? One way will keep you from what you desire to do and the other will guide you in the right direction.
You have been given an awesome gift. Its called a free will. You get to choose what you say, believe and do. Today is the day you can start building your confidence so you can live the life you're meant to live.
The choice is up to you.
Self-Confidence's Number One Enemy - How to Defeat It
Negative self-talk has to be the number one destroyer of self-confidence. You know the type of self-talk that goes on in the incessant chattering of the mind. The type of talk that says, "I'm so stupid. I always mess up. I can't do anything right."
That kind of self-talk is an ego pleaser. It gets us off the hook for something that we are not proud off and it reassures our little ego that he was not at fault. After all, what could we expect? We're a number one goof off so, what we do is goof.
It may very well be an ego pleaser and a way of forgiving ourselves but what it does to our self-worth and self-confidence is criminal. The mind, like any good computer, will give us what it has been programmed to give us. It's the Gi-Go principle. Garbage In - Garbage Out.
Self-deprecating thoughts serve absolutely no worthwhile purpose and should be shunned like the plague. It's a bad habit and it's totally useless therefore should have no place in our life.
There will be times when we don't make the right choices, times when we say things that we may regret or act in a way that is not totally appropriate. When that happens the proper dialogue that we should have with ourselves should go along the way of, "What I've just said (or done) is not like me. I'm better than that and it won't happen again."
Those words should be said with conviction and repeated over and over again until the message has truly set in. We cannot change the past and what has been said (or done) cannot be changed either. However, that is not a reason to compound a bad situation by making it even worse through attacks on the self-image.
Vladimir Lenin said, "A lie told often enough becomes truth." By expressing self-deprecating sentiments often enough, they will eventually be accepted as self-evident in our own mind. What possible valid reason could there be for doing something like that? Absolutely none.
Self-confidence and self-esteem are priceless. They bring the best out of us, they sustain us in hard times and they are the best friends that we could ever have. If we are lucky enough to have a good dose of these two wonderful attributes, we should do everything possible to protect them. If not, we should do everything possible to acquire those precious qualities.
Self-acceptance and self-love are the results of what has been called the ultimate seduction. In most cases, it's a lifelong process. Something that is never finished and should be fostered every day for the rest of our life.
With self-acceptance and self-love, a person is loving, giving and has a propensity for forgiveness and tolerance. Without it, the urge to drag others down has a tendency to show it's ugly head. It is a sad truth that misery loves company.
The level of self-confidence depends on the quality of the self-image. A good self-image will foster a high degree of self-confidence and a poor self-image will reflect negatively on the self-confidence. That being said, it becomes evident that to increase self-confidence, the first thing that has to be done it to work on the self-image.
That self-image is the result of beliefs that were formed by personal observations that we made and suggestions that were accepted as being legitimate. Some of those suggestions came from peers but many were self-induced and more appropriately called autosuggestions.
We cannot always control the suggestions that are given from others but we can certainly control those that are self-made through autosuggestions. These are the ideal tools to build up the self-image and the self-confidence. So, let use them wisely and judiciously by focusing on the positive and ignoring the negative.
Always Be Yourself.
If you change your teeth, change your hair and ears, change your nose and change your looks over and over again... One thing still remains; you can't change your Real self. It is a perfect creation built inside of us. It is your life, your true identity even if you deceive others. There is no alteration that can beat it.
Seeking to be Mr. White or Mrs. Black is not important as being perfect as the creator as established you. Each of us no matter what our defects are still possess a characteristic that is appreciable even if it is minute. You can never create a being that can be more beautiful than what God has done. You are not God, you can never be God. He knew the reason why he made you a laptop and not a desktop, a mainframe and not a minicomputer. Your identity distinguishes you but that depends on how you value it.
The identity God has given you can never leave you. Finding another identity only diminishes you. Everyman is fearfully and wonderfully made by God. The beauty you need is your REAL self. It is how you were created. Never try to create a disability when God as designed you as an ability, don't be a photocopy where God has designed you as an original. Why try to be bad when God has made you good? Why try to be the darkness when you have the power of the light?
God has made you the best. Your scars are beauty you turn to success. Don't let wrong people say wrong words to influence you in doing negative things of this world.
Don't fake your identity when you meet people. It may be your time as come to receive the miracle you have been waiting for. Don't tell lies because of facing disgrace, your sorrow today become joy for tomorrow. Your ugliness becomes an asset. Just learn to turn better not bitter. Don't fake a smile. Everyone has their own problems, the solution to your problem is in the hand of another person, don't kill yourself when you can last longer.
Everyone in life is created in a beautiful way that pleases one person and displeases another. Changing your name doesn't mean you have become new entirely. Play your own rhythm not other person's rhythms'. Let people see your own light in yourself not other persons light in you. Act your own script. Let your true talent speak your identity; your whole originality is your truest identity. Do it with your own voice one day you come out beautifully. Just make your own voice sweeter and better and one day you become a legend. Just keep practicing the inner self, exercise it to attain maximum greatness. Turn that bitter part to better part.
Trying to be another person is like self degradation, which displeases the creator and also contradicts the first rule which says "Honor your creator and respect his works", this result into your elimination when right changes are not introduced. So be careful, everyone is unique, created in a perfect way. The one who made us has made you that way so that you can bring His glory in you out. You might be covered with dust but inside, diamond is buried. The one who made you deaf knows better, the one who made you poor knows better, if you are from a separated home God knows better. Everything only gets better when you embrace the grace of truth and working the self to greater positivity. Don't hate your background. Every good thing will come. That is the good news if you hold on to the positive side of you. What a wonderful man/woman I am seeing in you? Everything has a reason for the way they are. Life grows better when you carry your cross and work better to offload it. Trying to be another person only adds more burdens to your life, it does not remove any burden.
5 Tips For Self Confidence in Relationships
Our success in relationships, business, sports and spiritual endeavors is largely determined by our self image and confidence. Those who exhibit confidence in themselves and their choices seem to attract good things, people and experiences to their lives.
It seems as those who have learned the tricks and tips of self confidence seem to be magnets for better treatment, more opportunities and deeper relationships. It is in our best interest to learn some of the ways that confident people think and act, so that we too may share the joy and good fortune.
Here are 5 Tips that we have incorporated in our family to build confidence
1. Focus on your strengths and hire out your weaknesses. Of course you can do the lawn work, and straighten the garage, and run a business, but you are best at running the business. Barter, trade or hire others who are good at what you are not to do it faster and better.
2. Visualize yourself succeeding. If you can see a clear picture of what success will look and feel like, you increase your chances of reaching it.
3. Ask for others to teach and mentor you. The most flattering question to an expert is "Wow, I am impressed. Will you teach me how to do that?" It is important to cultivate people who will help you to grow and develop your talents. Even the very act of asking is empowering. Determine what you want and keep asking until you get it.
4. Replace negative self talk with positive affirmations. Many of our beliefs and actions come from words or actions that others have given us in the past. They may not have been true then and they certainly are not true now. You have the power and duty to say to yourself over and over again "I may have been Late (or lazy,disorganized,unkind,procrastinator etc.) in the past, but now and forever more I am choosing to be on time every time (or industrious,organized,kind, prompt etc.)
5. Recognize there are a number of solutions to every situation. There is no one and only way to do anything. People who get locked into "my way" thinking, lose sight of the creative, innovative and imaginative ways to solve problems.
All of us have weaknesses and insecurities. The trick is to take a good look at how those past belief systems got there and if they are serving us well. If not, then as an intelligent person who has choices in life. Choose to let those things go that do not serve us and incorporate those habits and beliefs that do help us to succeed.
The world needs strong, confident people to step up in relationships, businesses, communities and neighborhoods. It is time to assume the mantle of confidence and esteem and recognize you have much to contribute and share.
I have confidence in you. Please use this information to overcome anxious and depressed feelings. You deserve to feel brave and sure of your ability to affect your life.Dr.Sammy D.James
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