26 sept 2009

7 Great Confidence Training Tips.Dr Sammy D.James/Founder of W V M I.World Vision Ministries International.

Training yourself to have a higher degree of confidence is a great way to deal with the everyday stresses of life. You don't need to employ a professional for that; you can easily be in charge of your own confidence training; in fact, you should be!

Life often presents us with problems that overwhelm us. These problems can very easily lead us down the path to despair. By training yourself to believe in who you are and to have confidence in yourself as a person, you are less likely to travel down that rocky path.

Having confidence in yourself, who you are and in your abilities is a great gift to give yourself through your own confidence training. If you have confidence, every aspect of your life will go more smoothly and you will be more fulfilled, successful and happy.

There are several easy things you can do to train your confidence.

1. Begin your confidence training by letting go of bad memories

People who suffer from poor confidence often focus on past bad memories. Whether it is an embarrassing moment that holds you back or a traumatic experience that still terrifies you, learning to let go of bad memories is a great way to start building up your confidence. That is the way to take charge of your life and make further strides in building your self confidence.

2. Open a confidence file

When you receive a flatter letter or an email complimenting you on a job well done, save them. These can become an excellent resource for you whenever you are in need of a little confidence boost.

3. It can be a good thing to brag a little

Often, when we have a big accomplishment we put it on the back burning. Instead of glossing over something you are proud of, make a fuss over it. Let people know how proud you are of your accomplishment.

4. You are not just one sided

Whether your left brain or your right brain is dominate, do not neglect your other half. If you are the logical type, take an art class, if you are the artistic type; invest some money in the stock market. Find some way to exercise the other half of your brain. Your confidence will thank you for it.

5. You have a spine - use it!

One of the biggest signs of a person with no confidence is letting people walk all over them. The next time someone cuts you down, do not just let it go. You do not have to be mean; just nicely ask why they felt the need to cut you down. Learning to stand up for yourself will raise your confidence.

6. Always remember to finish what you start

Whenever you make a commitment, make sure to follow through on it. Whether you have started a home improvement project for yourself, or offered to help a friend clean out their garage, finishing what you start will make you feel good about yourself!

7. Be your own person

We all fall into the trap of imitating people we admire. Admiration is fine, but do not take it too far. You are a unique individual; own that and your confidence will soar.

Simple steps like these can help you to feel better about yourself and raise your confidence level. It is a proven fact that people with high confidence levels do better in life. They are more likely to have successful relationships. They tend to perform better at school or work and are generally happier. By spending a little time training your confidence, you can lead a happier, healthier life.

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How to Stop Worrying About What Other People Think
Do you have dreams that you'd like to pursue - which you keep putting off because you're worried how other people will react? Have you ever stayed in a job or relationship that had gone sour, because you were anxious about how your family would react to you quitting?

Does it sometimes seem like your life is being hemmed in by your need to pleaseother people, toe the line, and win approval?

Many of us get anxious about what other people think of us. This is only natural: for centuries, social survival has depended on keeping to a narrow set of rules. But today, our options in the Western world are much more open: you won't face a prison sentence for coming out as homosexual, for instance, and women can have the same education and jobs as men. It's great news - we can't be damaged or harmed by other people thinking that their lifestyle is "right" and that ours is "wrong".

Yet too many of us still creep around on eggshells, second-guessing ourselves because we're worried what our friends, family and society will think of us.

You Don't Know What They're Thinking

Here's the thing, though: you can't possibly know what someone else will think, and you often have little idea of what their experiences have been. Perhaps you're convinced that your happily-married, family-focused parents will be horrified if you tell them that you're thinking about getting a divorce. You might find out that they've faced difficult times in their relationship - or that they disliked your partner all along, but kept quiet for your sake.

There's no effort more wasted than the effort of worrying and guessing at what someone else might think of your actions.

It's Your Life - Not Theirs

Even if you know full well what someone thinks (eg. your father has told you that you must study law, or your mother has said she'd disown any child of hers who joined the army) - you need to remind yourself, and possibly them, that it's your life. You're the one who has to live it.

Be willing to listen to other people's advice - but accept that it's your responsibility to decide whether or not you want to accept that advice. Don't let a parent, spouse or colleague bully you into a course of action that makes you unhappy. If you know what you want, go for it: you'll be surprised how often people will come round. They may even be secretly impressed to see you standing up for what you want to do

How to Develop the Self Confidence of a Winner
It is a common belief that to achieve everything you want in life you must have money. Money does make acquiring what you want easier, but it is not the only solution to achieving all of your goals and passions.

Self confidence is the backbone of all success worthy of discussion. If you do not believe in yourself all the money in the world will not make you happy.

The key to achieving all your dreams is developing self confidence. If you want true success you must believe in yourself and keep pushing forward no matter who or what seems to be standing in your way.

Self confidence comes from knowing that you have the skills needed to achieve any goal you want. These skills are acquired by continued study and taking action even if the outcome is less than you desire.

The self confident person will attract others. People like to be around others that display confidence in whatever they are pursuing. Confident people are inspiring and make you want to get up and take action to achieve the same success. Self confident people attract opportunities that are not available to

others. Your energy will inspire and motivate others and their newfound energy will make you feel good about yourself and the influence you have had in turning their life around.

A person that has the self confidence to do anything that he desires will gain the respect of all those around him. He will also be the inspiration for others to follow in his footsteps because it seems as if he holds the world in the palm of his hand.

Self confidence can help you overcome unexpected roadblocks and stepping stones along the way. Break your goals down into smaller goals and work to accomplish one at a time. Each accomplishment will move you one step closer, build your self esteem and make you a better person.

Keeping the following principles in mind will help build your self confidence as you pursue each passion in your life.

1. Believe In Yourself- do not let the opinions of others influence your motivation to pursue whatever you may desire. Focus on your goals and keep pushing forward until you have reached your final destination. Do not let the negative opinions of others make you a lesser person. Even if you fail keep your head up and keep pushing toward your ultimate dream.

2. Face Your Fears- attack things you are not sure about with a vengeance. If you are unsuccessful in what you are pursuing look at it as a stepping stone to achieving greater success. Making mistakes gives you wisdom and helps sharpen your skills and increases your chances of success with your next challenge.

Keep a journal of the steps you take in attempting to achieve everyone of your goals. Even if you fail this will allow you to reflect on what you could have done differently. This will increase your ammunition and help you think strategically in the pursuit of your next dream.

3. Stay Motivated- keep pushing forward and put all your energy into achieving what you want most from life. Persistence will help you achieve your ultimate objective as long as you never give up. Accomplishing each smaller goal will boost your self esteem and keep you motivated to see things through until the end.

We all have our own unique strengths and weaknesses. You will not always win at every thing you pursue, but by learning from your failures the chance of you having long term success increases substantially.

The ultimate secret to success and staying motivated is to face your fears, learn from your mistakes and believe in yourself. Following these principles will increase your self confidence and make you unstoppable in your pursuit of your ultimate dream.

10 Top Tips to Improve Your Total Confidence & Self-Assurance
1. Make a list of twenty of your greatest achievements - everything from passing your driving test to getting your swimming life saving certificate/GCSEs or Master's Degree. Then list alongside each one, which characteristics it took to enable you to achieve that goal, for example, to pass your driving test it might have taken tenacity, determination, memory training, courage, persistence, managerial skills and technical ability. Carry on with the list, noting for each achievement which characteristics were needed. Note how many of the same ones keep on cropping up. On days when you're feeling doubtful about just how capable you really are, browse that list, which you always keep in your wallet or purse to remind yourself just how skilled you are!

2. List your strengths and weaknesses. Consider how you might build on your strengths and improve on your weaknesses. For example, do your strengths energise you? When you know you have performed to the best of your ability, do you feel like you could carry on indefinitely and conquer the world? Do they carry you forward even when it's the end of a long working day, and you're feeling tired but you're on a roll? Try to address your weaknesses in the same way: consider how you can regularly work on your weaknesses and strengthen them as you would work on a muscle that needed building up. A little work on a regular basis, and maybe some extra coaching from an expert, and you'll soon have those weaknesses turning into strengths and be stronger all round.

3. Consider a person in the world who you admire - what characteristics do they have that cause you to admire them? Why do they stand out from the herd? What actions do they take that put them head and shoulders above all others? How do they talk to people in a way that makes others feel good about themselves. Note these things and try to copy them yourself. It's the little things you do that add up to a whole lot of difference. What can you learn from them and incorporate into your daily actions? Remember that an action only needs to be repeated for 21 days before it becomes a habit!

4. Choose a role model or mentor who is where you want to be or doing what you want to be doing and ask them to show you how they got to be where they are now. Discover the steps needed to get you started. Don't think you can take short cuts or skip any steps - but by taking advice from someone who has already walked the path you are following, you will avoid many of the crevices and pitfalls that they may have fallen into during their journey to the top and save yourself time and trouble. Don't feel shy about asking for help - most people are flattered and delighted to be asked, especially by someone who obviously looks up to them.

5. Expect to make mistakes and when you do, don't endlessly apologise. Mistakes just show that you are human but have the confidence to carry on and not be fazed by your error. If you can use humour in a natural way, then do so, but don't force it. Self-deprecating humour always goes down well but don't continue to put yourself down. Self-belief is what we're looking for here. When you make a mistake, ask yourself the most important question, "What could I have done differently?" and learn from the answer. Also ask yourself "What have I learned from this mistake?" and ensure that you never forget the lesson.

6. Keep an open mind and realize that you can learn something from everyone you meet and not just those "above" you. The post room boy/girl or tea lady might have an important lesson you could learn, just as much as your boss or the Chairman. Take time out to share a moment with everyone and recognize that each and every person you meet in your day is an individual who may have something to teach you or a gift to give you. If you go around with a closed mind and blinkered eyes you may miss what is an important signpost to where you need to be on your journey.

7. Follow your intuition/gut feeling. More often than not you will be right. If not, learn from where you have gone wrong - nothing is a mistake if you can learn something from it. Ask yourself what you might have done differently. Could you have taken a different approach? Could you have planned better? What outcome might have occurred in that case? Remember, planning is essential - an old cliché but true - 'failing to plan, is planning to fail.'

8. With regard to planning - on a daily basis - remind yourself of your goals - you DO have your goals written out, in specific, time measured, realistic detail, don't you? They are, hopefully, updated regularly as you take each specific step along the path to your ultimate destination. Keep a card with your goals written clearly on it in a place where you can see it daily - on your car dashboard, on your shaving/makeup mirror, your computer, your diary - so that your goals are in the forefront of your mind at all times. These are there to remind you what you are working towards.

9. Take advantage of every possible learning experience that comes your way - every book, CD, seminar, course will teach you something - even if it's a way not to behave, or not to present. Make a note of what you particularly liked, or disliked, about the course content, or presenter, or other team members. Get to know yourself inside and out - again to identify your strengths and weaknesses so you can work on them. Remember what you liked so that when it's your turn to organize or have an input you know how you want things done.

10. Act AS IF! Act as if you are the most confident and self-assured person in the room; take on the mantle of that person who is your role model, watch how they speak, how they dress, how they behave, and mimic their behaviour - once you look the part, it's only a small step to thinking yourself into the persona. In no time at all, you'll start to feel comfortable in your own skin. Remember, everyone is afraid at some time, it's just that some of us are so much better at hiding it than others.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you must stop and look fear in the face.... You must do the thing you think you cannot do. Eleanor Roosevelt

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